The Early Bird....

I get up early. 5am. and i'm ready to go. And it doesn't matter what time I go to sleep. I think the latest i slept in last year was 7:30 and only because against better judgement I tried mushrooms for the first time in who knows how many years. I really don't do drugs anymore, certainly not street drugs but I never really considered mushrooms to be drugs, just a kinda interesting chemical that can sometimes open doorways in my mind. Of course it didn't happen this time, just lots of laughing and a weird feeling in the morning. Hmm...

Where was I? Oh, waking up. I like the early morning. It is my favorite time of day. When I lived on Long Island I did lots of surf fishing and during the summer and fall I would see the sunrise from the beach at least 2 times a week. It was a very spiritual thing for me, seeing the sun come up over the ocean. I would stop whatever I was doing for a few minutes just to watch. Of course so did most of the wildlife. Creatures that were safe in the dark all of a sudden realized that the jig was up and it was time to hide for the day. Other creatures that needed light to hunt appeared as if out of thin air. It was and is a magical time. Even in the desert. Outside my window the coyotes are announcing that morning is coming with their sadly sweet howling. Rabbits are scurrying for cover after a night of feeding... and being fed on. The sun is slowly peeking over the snowcapped mountains, reflecting off of the ice and creating all kinds of colors and shadows on the canyon walls. How beautiful. How special.

Even in prison I was an early riser. 5am. And even in such an ugly, violent and hostile place there was beauty to be found. In Attica the sun would come up over the wall and hity the cell blocks causing a rainbow of colors to appear through the windows which for a breif moment would enter my cell. It was the only time of day that the sun would actually enter the cell block and I would bask in it like a cat on a warm floor. For that one moment the walls would come down and the miracle that is this world would enter.

In Woodbourne the sun would come over the Shawangunk Mountains and spread across the prison farm, across the hay fields, the corn fields, the vegetable fields illuminating them and illuminating the late night visitors... white tail deer, possums, woodchucks, rabbits and even the occasional brown bear. For that moment I was no longer in jail. I would sit by my window and imagine that I was looking out from my kitchen window, getting ready to do my chores but giving my four legged friends a chance to fill their bellies.

Did you see the movie "bucket list"? A bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you die. In prison we used to have just the opposite. Things you want to do when you start living again as a free man. Kind of an anti bucket list. Guys would talk about getting a car, a woman, clothes, new jordans, getting paid, getting revenge... and so on. Number one on my list was getting up before dawn, opening my door without having to ask, walking down to Riverside Park, sitting on a rock by the Hudson River and watching the sun rise. And I did it. On April 22nd. 2005 I saw the sun rise again. And the next day... and the next day....

To me, life is like that. Life is like the morning. It happens every day but so many people miss it, miss the beauty and the majesty. Miss the wonder of it all. We get so wrapped up in our problems, our wants and our needs that we miss what is really important, what really matters. Now i'm not saying that seeing the sun rise is more important than family, work, health or any other daily activity. What i'm saying is that if we just take that moment in every day to look at, to get out of ourselves, to appreciate, to witness, to see, to feel, to experience something as amazing as the sun rising I think it makes the day just a little bit brighter.

What is your sunrise? Is it looking in the crib and watching your baby sleep? Is it sitting by the window and watching a spider weave a web? Is it watching hummingbirds feed early in the morning? Is it laying on your back in a field of grass and watching the clouds go by? Is it appreciating a really good painting or photograph? Is it......

Have a blessed day.