The real victims.....

There is a saying that goes "when you go to prison you take your family and friends with you". Think about that for a second. Take them with you. Why? And no, they don't actually go.... just in spirit. When someone gets convicted of a crime and goes away the level of shame is almost unbearable. That is why most convicts put on their "game face" where it aint nothing. It has been my experience that only the true sociopath (of which there are surprisingly few) does not care what others think about them and have no shame for what they have done. The rest of us either deal with the shame and guilt or let it consume us from the inside out.
Our families and friends on the other hand did nothing to cause our incareration but still have feelings of responsibility, shame and guilt. They wonder if there had been a sign, or if there was something they could have done, or better yet something they did or did not do that caused or aided in our failure to live within the laws of our society. we as prisoners know exactly what we did. We may blame it on our boss, the wife, the neighbor, the police, the DA, the judge, society....etc. but at night when we are locked up in our cell with only our conscience for company we know that there is no other person to hang the blame on except ourselves. Our families and friends have no such option because at the end of the day most really do not understand what happened and if they don't understand what happened how can they absolve themselves of any responsibility.
I spent a good portion of my incarceration trying to convince my father and mother thay they were good parents and that they were in no way responsible for my perdicament. And believe me, it is hard to convince parents that even at 34 they are not resposible for their childs bad behavior. My poor father died while I was in prison, died thinking there must have been something he did or failed to do that caused me to do what I did.
So, when I talk about shame and guilt this is where most of it comes from. When people talk about victimless crimes take a minute to re-read what I just wrote. many times the victims are the ones we say we love and care about the most. To see the sometimes forgotten victims of crime all one has to do is go to a prison visiting room. It will break your heart.


Peace